Wow, it's really been a year now? I haven't visited this blog in a while. I'm sure no one else has either, haha. Well I wanted to read about the anxiety attack I had because I've been feeling a little bit of tightness in my throat lately, but work has been very stressful. I keep half- and quarter- cuts of Xanax in my pockets just in case it gets too much for me. Since it seems to creep up whenever I'm stressed, I'm thinking that last year the anxiety got out of control because I had been laid off from work and not having much luck finding a new job.
As for my eyelashes, I've reduced how often I put on the Careprost to about 2-3 times a week. And, honestly, my lashes are still full and long but not as much as when I had been using it every day. Since I know it takes 12 weeks from the time I start applying it every day, I know I won't see the results for a while but I miss how long they used to be! So I'm probably going to go back to applying Careprost DAILY.
My mom noticed my lashes and I shared a few bottles of Careprost with her and -- her lashes are amazing! She loves the stuff and I gave her some more for Christmas. But she was going through it pretty fast so I told her she only needs about half a drop. I have 2.5 bottles left still. I hope by the time I need more, it won't be off the market or have the price jacked up too high.
I don't remember if I mentioned this side effect: if I happen to get any Careprost in my eye, I notice that within that week I experience either too much or too little pressure in my eye to where parts of my peripheral vision seem to go temporarily blind (like when you push on your eyeball for too long and things start to fade). But it goes away after about half an hour. I have tried to be very careful to not get it into my eyes and haven't had this problem since.
As for normal life, WORK IS SO STRESSFUL! Yeah I said it twice, but I mean it twice. It's just too much for me. Maybe there are other folks who can handle it but I am most certainly not the type. I shouldn't have to come home crying every night, with my brain hurting. I've put in a request to switch my schedule to the overnights, but they seem pretty adamant about keeping me on the swing shifts. I will keep trying. Maybe switch to POOL only, so I can pick which days I work and which times and HOW OFTEN! Ha... love that part. Or maybe I will pursue a different career altogether. I've been saying a lot of prayers on the subject, and I'm hoping that the Lord will help me out on this, as He usually does when I ask.
About when I'm getting married to Jason: Still waiting to hear from the First Presidency, but of course, now they're getting ready for General Conference so we're experiencing even more delays. It's like we've gone through so many (delays) that more would almost be welcome because its the norm, and I'm afraid of what it might possibly be like to be moving forward, being that it is such a foreign concept. The right person, at the right time, by the right authority. So I'm just hoping that the Lord's timing is best, as usual, and I'm counting on that so I don't give up. Unless He wants me to? I don't know how to read any of it. I asked Him to put up roadblocks if it's not meant to be, but this feels equally as trying as a test of faith, so I'm not sure how to interpret it. I know I need the Spirit more in my life to figure it out, so that's what I'm working on.
Friday, March 23, 2012
Thursday, March 3, 2011
Panic/Anxiety Attack
On Monday night, I had a panic attack. At the time, I doubted that it was actually something worth labeling (I've always been so darned healthy, with nothing ever worse than bursitis and a few flu's). So here's what happened:
In the morning, I was just chilling in my room on my bed, relaxing back and playing a game on my phone. I started to get that feeling like something was stuck in my throat, deep down inside, as if I had swallowed something so big, I could feel the pressure in my esophagus. If I laid down flat, it felt like more pressure (heavier), but if I sat up, it eased slightly. I also felt the pressure in my throat, too. But when I was laying down, it was so heavy I found myself gasping for air, because I felt like I was choking. It was not enough to freak me out or have me worried, since I'd felt it before, although rarely. I coped with it, and it went away after about an hour.
Later, in the evening, I was laying down again on my bed playing a game, when I felt it coming back. My fiance said that it sounded like anxiety so we looked it up online. All symptoms of chest/throat heaviness pointed right toward anxiety issues, but I blew it off because I wasn't feeling anxious at all, and I figured it would go away like it did before. As my hunny was leaving for the night, we hugged as usual, but it was a little too much tightness for how pinched my chest & throat were feeling already, so I quickly backed off. I said, "I'm feeling claustrophobic", explaining to my fiance, so he understood. I must have been more traumatized by that feeling than I thought, because as soon as I turned around, I felt all my nerves on edge, and I collapsed into a fit of tears. I felt scared of my body, scared of anything. I didn't like how I was feeling with my throat pinched, and that it was getting worse, so I kinda freaked out. I didn't think I was going to die or anything, but for some reason, my body was completely prepared for it. I was in flight-or-fight response mode, high on adrenaline for my own survival. Although, there really wasn't anything to be so worried about. My baby held my arms, supporting me as he looked at the terror in my face and said, "You're having a panic attack". That just freaked me out even more, and I cried and cried. I got ahold of myself a little bit, and when I had calmed down, he took me outside for some fresh air. The cool night air lightened up the weight on my chest a little. Feeling better, we went back inside, although my nerves were still hypersensitive. They quickly got even more sensitive, so I told my fiance to get my Xanax. I collapsed on the floor in another fit of extreme fear and crying, the crying of course being a result of the fear. I guess the right word would be panic: "a sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety", which is exactly what I felt. But the weirdest thing is: there was no rhyme or reason to be panicking! So I felt crazy as the panic set in, since there was no reason for me to feel this way. I kept telling myself I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I crawled to my bed, and laid down, repeating these words to keep myself in control; I did NOT want that to happen again. My nerves were extremely hypersensitive, almost uncontrollable. But I fought it with "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay." As my hunny brought me a pill, I just tried to lay as still as possible, trying to get my muscles to stop their spasms. I would not let them take control of me again. My fiance put on some Discovery show at my request; I assumed that would be enough to distract me but not enough to overload my senses. Eventually, I was able to lay completely still without moving, and eventually I returned to normal, followed closely by extremely drowsy.
Nothing even close has happened the rest of the week. Although, the following day, I was more purposefully anxious that it would happen again. Since I had read that being worried about a panic attack is a good cause for one to happen, I tried really hard not to think about it. I also noticed I was feeling a little lightheaded... aftershock?
Anyways, that's what happened and exactly how I felt. I guess if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
In the morning, I was just chilling in my room on my bed, relaxing back and playing a game on my phone. I started to get that feeling like something was stuck in my throat, deep down inside, as if I had swallowed something so big, I could feel the pressure in my esophagus. If I laid down flat, it felt like more pressure (heavier), but if I sat up, it eased slightly. I also felt the pressure in my throat, too. But when I was laying down, it was so heavy I found myself gasping for air, because I felt like I was choking. It was not enough to freak me out or have me worried, since I'd felt it before, although rarely. I coped with it, and it went away after about an hour.
Later, in the evening, I was laying down again on my bed playing a game, when I felt it coming back. My fiance said that it sounded like anxiety so we looked it up online. All symptoms of chest/throat heaviness pointed right toward anxiety issues, but I blew it off because I wasn't feeling anxious at all, and I figured it would go away like it did before. As my hunny was leaving for the night, we hugged as usual, but it was a little too much tightness for how pinched my chest & throat were feeling already, so I quickly backed off. I said, "I'm feeling claustrophobic", explaining to my fiance, so he understood. I must have been more traumatized by that feeling than I thought, because as soon as I turned around, I felt all my nerves on edge, and I collapsed into a fit of tears. I felt scared of my body, scared of anything. I didn't like how I was feeling with my throat pinched, and that it was getting worse, so I kinda freaked out. I didn't think I was going to die or anything, but for some reason, my body was completely prepared for it. I was in flight-or-fight response mode, high on adrenaline for my own survival. Although, there really wasn't anything to be so worried about. My baby held my arms, supporting me as he looked at the terror in my face and said, "You're having a panic attack". That just freaked me out even more, and I cried and cried. I got ahold of myself a little bit, and when I had calmed down, he took me outside for some fresh air. The cool night air lightened up the weight on my chest a little. Feeling better, we went back inside, although my nerves were still hypersensitive. They quickly got even more sensitive, so I told my fiance to get my Xanax. I collapsed on the floor in another fit of extreme fear and crying, the crying of course being a result of the fear. I guess the right word would be panic: "a sudden uncontrollable fear or anxiety", which is exactly what I felt. But the weirdest thing is: there was no rhyme or reason to be panicking! So I felt crazy as the panic set in, since there was no reason for me to feel this way. I kept telling myself I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay. I crawled to my bed, and laid down, repeating these words to keep myself in control; I did NOT want that to happen again. My nerves were extremely hypersensitive, almost uncontrollable. But I fought it with "I'm okay, I'm okay, I'm okay." As my hunny brought me a pill, I just tried to lay as still as possible, trying to get my muscles to stop their spasms. I would not let them take control of me again. My fiance put on some Discovery show at my request; I assumed that would be enough to distract me but not enough to overload my senses. Eventually, I was able to lay completely still without moving, and eventually I returned to normal, followed closely by extremely drowsy.
Nothing even close has happened the rest of the week. Although, the following day, I was more purposefully anxious that it would happen again. Since I had read that being worried about a panic attack is a good cause for one to happen, I tried really hard not to think about it. I also noticed I was feeling a little lightheaded... aftershock?
Anyways, that's what happened and exactly how I felt. I guess if it can happen to me, it can happen to anyone.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
I love my new lashes
Well, it's been over 6 months since I started using Careprost for eyelash treatment, and just look at these lovely lashes. I have mascara on, and I did pencil my eyebrows a bit, but not nearly as much as I used to put on! Here are some recent photos, then I will put up before pix:
Now here is a progression over time!
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Week 17 update
So this is supposedly when I should have maximum results. The pictures for this week don't flatter my lashes quite like the last update's did... it was a different angle, but the lashes are even longer (and I have more of them) than in the previous post. Here's a short update, but soon I will go all out and take lots of pics with good angles, so you can see. I'll also post before/after pics.
After 16 weeks (curled, with mascara, and penciled brows):
After 16 weeks (curled, with mascara, and penciled brows):
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Week 13 update
Check out how huge my lashes look already! This is after curling and mascara. Eyebrows are also penciled. Wowww!!
Monday, August 23, 2010
Week 8 Update
It's been 8 1/2 weeks of using Careprost for eyelash treatment. And I must say.... my lashes are looking GOOD!
Longer, and slightly more lush. Take a look at some pictures. (BTW, I'm still using the first bottle).
Eye on the right is curled, left is not. No makeup.
Below: Mascara + curled, eyebrows penciled in.
Longer, and slightly more lush. Take a look at some pictures. (BTW, I'm still using the first bottle).
Eye on the right is curled, left is not. No makeup.
Below: Mascara + curled, eyebrows penciled in.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Week 4 update
Hey all!
Been 4 weeks of using Careprost (Latisse generic) for eyelash treatment. Just wanted to update you on changes.
Side effects: nothing at all :)
Main effect: More of the same kind of thing from the last update, where I felt like I had more lashes of the same length. Well, there seems to be even more now, and that the longest lashes are getting longer. It's a very tiny difference, really only I notice it. However, my boyfriend has commented that my lashes look fuller (that I have more of them). Even if these were my maximum results with Careprost, I would still be impressed, especially since the stuff is only $10/bottle. I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring! Here are some pix:
First photo: My right lashes are normal, my left ones are curled. No mascara. No brow filler.
Been 4 weeks of using Careprost (Latisse generic) for eyelash treatment. Just wanted to update you on changes.
Side effects: nothing at all :)
Main effect: More of the same kind of thing from the last update, where I felt like I had more lashes of the same length. Well, there seems to be even more now, and that the longest lashes are getting longer. It's a very tiny difference, really only I notice it. However, my boyfriend has commented that my lashes look fuller (that I have more of them). Even if these were my maximum results with Careprost, I would still be impressed, especially since the stuff is only $10/bottle. I can't wait to see what the next few months will bring! Here are some pix:
First photo: My right lashes are normal, my left ones are curled. No mascara. No brow filler.
Second photo: Same as first, top view.
Third photo: Curled w/ mascara, penciled brows
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